Helpful Hints for Healthy Parenting

Are you a hurried parent who could benefit from hints on how to enhance communication with your kids?

Tips on getting along better, guidelines on how to improve your relationship with your children?

Please read on.

The parenting tips that follow provide a fresh perspective, an opportunity to build on your own positive parenting skills so that when difficult issues arise, you already have a strong foundation to build on.

Be Positive Look for ways to give compliments Give hugs Remember to laugh with your child Emphasize your child's strong points. Praise special, unique traits in your child Help your child understand that nobody's perfect and that is okay Help you child understand that everyone is good at something and not so good at other things.

 Give your time

As parents, you are all probably short on time and may often feel overwhelmed with all your responsibilities. However, it is important for you to know that the best gift to give your child is regular undivided attention. If you're experiencing guilt, you need to work through that and work on specific times to be with your children. You could begin by scheduling monthly 'dates' together.

Say 'I Love You'

Stay Connected'Listen

• Give your full attention. Keep good eye contact, nod, even touch your child.
• Listen for feelings. There are no wrong feelings. Acknowledge your child's feelings, then reflect those feelings back. Don't interpret. Repeat their words or use similar words, to reflect your child's feeling.
• Keep your talk to a minimum. Simply saying you understand and care may be enough. Being there for them is the most important.
• Take time to be with your child
• Read a book or watch TV together. Talk about the book or program. Use this time to give your full attention to your child.
• If you are a working parent, call your child from work just to say 'Hello' ' not to remind him or her about chores or homework.
• Make time for regular heart-to-heart talks with your child. Keep conversations free and open.

Use Positive Discipline - Set Rules

• Determine what rules are important. Set limits and boundaries. Make sure everybody understands the rules and consequences.
• Apply rules consistently. If you make an exception, make sure your child understands that it is a special treat. (ie. Staying out later than usual).
• Rules are flexible in that they are appropriate to the age of the child.
• Physical discipline is almost never effective.

Addressing a Problem

• Respond to the problem as soon as possible
• Be firm. You are the parent. Do no underestimate your parenting ability
• Keep calm; use your anger in a positive way
• Address the problem, discuss the consequence, follow-through. Don't blow up!

Criticize the behaviour only

Choose your words carefully. Address the behaviour, not the person. For example, you could say,

 "I'm Upset that you Hit your Friend"  instead of "Your a Bad Boy for Hitting"

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Children take an Enormous Risk if Revealing a Family Secret.

• Children who grow up with woman abuse or child maltreatment are warned or know instinctively that revealing family secrets will have dire consequences.
• At an age when children want to blend in with peers and be the same, they have already realized how different their family is.
• Children may deny that anything is wrong even if asked a direct question.

When Children Witness Abuse....They May Believe

• Violence and Threats get you what you want.
• A person has two choices to be the Aggressor or the Victim
• Victims are to blame for the violence

• When people hurt others, they do Not get into trouble
• Women are weak, helpless, stupid, or violent
• People who love you, can also Hurt You 
• Men are in charge and get to Control Women's Lives
• Women don't have the Right to be Treated with Respect

Children's Bill of Rights

Children have the right...

• to be children                         to know their limits
• to have fun                              to ask for what they need
• to some secrets                      to a support system (peers/parents)
• to say no                                 to be protected from abuse & neglect
• to be respected                        to be believed
• to make certain choices            to be protected from knowledge beyond their years   
• to be accepted for themselves    not to worry about grown up problems   

CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY!