FIVE THINGS AN ABUSED WOMAN NEEDS TO HEAR

• I believe you
• It's not your fault
• I'm sorry this happened to you
• I'm glad you told me
• I can help
  

 
How Can I Help A Friend Or Family Member Who Is Being Abused.?

Show Understanding and Acceptance.

Don't be afraid to let her know that you are concerned for her safety. Help her to recognize the abuse. Tell her that you see what is going on and you want to help. Let her know that violence is never okay or justifiable.

Acknowledge that she is in a very difficult and scary situation. Let her know that it is not her fault that she is being abused. Let her know that SHE IS NOT ALONE.
Be Supportive. Listen to her. Remember that it may be difficult for her to talk about the abuse. What she needs most is someone who will listen to and believe her and who can help her sort out her options.

Be non-judgmental. Respect her decisions. She may break up with and go back to the abuser many times. She will need your support even more during those times. Do not make her feel bad for her choices, even if you think these choices are wrong.

Encourage her to do things with you and other friends and family and to take part in other activities outside of her relationship.

If she breaks up with the abuser it is important for you to continue to be supportive of her. Even though the relationship was abusive, she will probably feel sad and lonely when it is over. She may be tempted to get back together with the abuser, and will especially need your support at that time.

Giving Practical Support

• Offer a ride to doctors, lawyers or other appointments
• Volunteer your time and/or vehicles to assist with moving
• Donate you time to fix things or tidy up around the house
• Donate used furniture or clothes
• Provide child care and support with the children
• Car pool

Giving Emotional Support
LISTEN... Attend appointments with her to be her 'ears', especially in the early stages as it may be difficult for her to remember during this stressful time

• Let her leave her important papers and a suitcase of clothes with you
• Share a meal together

Giving Financial Support

• Sponsor a child's participation in a recreational activity
• Offer to baby-sit
• Help with groceries, bills, expenses
• Donate professional services

Some Advice is Not useful and may even be Dangerous for her to hear.
 

• Don't  tell her what to do, when to leave or when not to leave
• Don't tell her to go back to the situation and try a little harder
• Don't try to rescue her by finding quick solutions
• Don't suggest you try to talk to her partner to straighten things out
• Don't tell her she should stay for the sake of the children
• Don't lose patience if she leaves, then returns. She still needs your support
• Don't judge her or her choices