OVERVIEW OF PATTERN CHANGING GROUP

• A free 12-week educational support group designed to assist women who have experienced abuse in an intimate relationship
• The goal is for women to understand the issue of abuse and its realities for the entire family, and to assist in making positive life changes.
• This program focuses on the woman herself and her ability to change the course of her life.
• Pre-registration is required. Groups are held throughout Renfrew County. Groups meet for two hours, once a week.
• Contact us about childcare and transportation assistance

Topics for discussion

The Impact of Abuse
Abuse is about 'Power and Control'. It is a worldwide problem crossing all economic, social, educational, sexual, and ethnic segments of society. It is found among the rich and poor, white-collar professionals and unskilled workers, the educated and the illiterate, gays and lesbians, and people of all races and religions.Abuse is NEVER the fault of the victim. It is 100% the responsibility and choice of the abuser.

Family Roles and Abuse
Abuse affects the entire family. Children growing up with and witnessing an abusive parent suffer extreme emotional abuse and run a great risk of themselves becoming abused or abusers as adults. Because it is learned behaviour, abuse is passed from generation to generation.

Boundary Setting
Boundaries are limits drawn by each of us that define our separateness, uniqueness, and basic rights. Boundaries are not a wall against the world; they are an open door for loving yourself and for healthy relationships. Lack of boundaries is a prerequisite for abuse. Anyone may be abused once, but if your boundaries are clearly in place, you will never be a chronic victim.

About Feelings
All feelings are as natural as being thirsty. There is no right or wrong to them. They just are. Guilt, Fear, Anger and Grief are all natural. Do not be surprised or frightened by them.

Assertiveness Techniques
Assertiveness is the expressing of your own needs, wants, or feelings without violating the rights of others. When you are assertive, you are honest, direct, and sincere and treat other persons as equal and valuable.

Coping Strategies
Three of the most difficult areas for abused women to use assertiveness skills when setting boundaries are: making a request, refusing a request, and dealing with authority figures. Remember that you are a worthy, capable woman, and you are setting your boundaries so that you can survive and change.

Goal Setting
The prerequisite for arriving at realistic goals is to be in touch with your feelings, your values, and your dreams. Understanding where your interests and talents lie and assessing how much energy you have from a common sense platform for asking some basic questions.

Healthy Relationships
It is understandably hard for a woman who has been abused, perhaps all her life, and who may never have experienced a healthy relationship to imagine what it is like or believe it can even exist. Perfection in relationships, as in other areas of life, does not exist. The key to a healthy relationship is to love yourself. You can't give from an empty cup.

Changed Patterns
As a woman empowered by awareness of her rights and with her boundaries in place, you are no longer vulnerable to needy controlling relationships. The path to freedom from the past is motivation, forgiveness and LOVE OF YOURSELF, clearly defined goals, decisions made, actions taken, and EMPOWERMENT.

The Effect on Children who witness Abuse
Abuse, neglect and witnessing violence in the home can negatively impact a child in a number of ways. These events can result in problems in social and cognitive development, aggressive behaviour, a reduction of success in life, an increased risk of delinquency, and an increased risk of victimization by others later in life.

OVERVIEW OF "NEW" GROUP CALLED:  SETTING PATTERNS

Setting Patterns is a group designed to help women understand and heal from the effects of the abuse they have experienced. It is an educational group that builds on the knowledge that women attained from the Pattern Changing group. Setting Patterns will assist to further support and encourage women in making positive life changes.

The group material enhances the information that was presented in Pattern Changing.

The topics: Communication Skills, Feelings related to Anger, Developing New Relationships and Goal Setting are discussed in a more in-depth context. 

Related Topics introduced in this group:  Attitude of Gratitude, Co-dependency, Shame and Guilt

The group is eight weeks in length covering a predetermined set of topics. Within these eight weeks, topics for two weeks will be selected by the majority of the group participants, allowing each group to be tailored to the group members needs/interests.

Attendance and Completion in Pattern Changing is a Prerequisite for this group.